I was talking to a former client this evening about a relationship / communication issue she’s battling with. The issue is rather complex and naturally confidential but it seemed to me there could be little doubt about what action she needed to take. Of which more in a moment.
I recently spent some time with a colleague I hadn’t seen for rather a long time. Talking to her, it felt like her life is dominated by fear. Though outwardly confident and self assured, she worries about the food she eats (no meat, not safe enough), the dangers of air travel (you say it’s turbulence, I say the engine’s failed), the risks to our children of the burgeoning drugs culture (nothing less than 24 hour superivision is required)…
As a ‘lawyer of attraction’, I dislike this mindset which makes her world just as dangerous as she believes it to be. And to be honest, I didn’t want to spend too much time listening to her fears. As a business coach, I’m right up for listening to my clients’ concerns and limiting beliefs but in my personal life, with someone who has a conviction the world is big, bad and dangerous, it’s not where I wish to focus my attention.
My world is big, bold and beautiful, thanks.
And a friend then reminded me of a great quote which I tweak here for my own purposes:
A cowardly woman dies a thousand deaths, the brave woman dies but once **
Being scared into paralysis, playing disastrous scenarios over and over, worrying about events that haven’t yet materialised and likely never will, is dying a thousand deaths. I understand some people describe themselves as "born worriers" but they weren’t, were they? They learnt to worry for all sorts of reasons. Because they experienced it at home, because they felt impotent and out-of-control in the face of external events, because they bore a child and loved them too much…
But back to my client who I know is a woman of courage and action and who I also know, knew the answers to the questions she was asking me! So I asked her one back:
What would a brave woman do?
She laughed and told me without hesitation. What that action is doesn’t matter, I mean it’s not something I can share here. But she laughed with relief because despite her uncertainty about the results of the conversation she was going to have to have, doing something about the situation was hugely preferable to worrying and doing nothing.
If you’re struggling with a problem or worrying about a situation, ask yourself the same question, what would a brave woman do?
Don’t worry about what you think you ought to do or narrow your answers because of what you believe you’re not capable of doing. Asking the question – what would a brave woman do – allows you to be objective, distance yourself from the problem and identify the optimum solutions.
And if, hearing your answers, you realise you know exactly what to do but believe you’re not brave enough yourself to do it, then email me to arrange a consultation!
"Cowards die many times before their deaths
The valiant never taste of death but once"
Julius Caesar – William Shakespeare